Time's ticking, heart's beating, head's spinning. If someone slices my throat with a knife, it wouldn't be more painful than the fate which has to be accepted.
After I, unintentionally, looked that stupid book, I went pale. I wanted to run and cry and whatsoever. Days after days, I was still a sad girl. Those terrible weeks made even a smile couldn't plastered on my face. I was miserable, furious, and sad. My thoughts flew to all my friends which successfully makes me more sad. "Will I be alone?" "Will I look like an idiot if I stay too long?" Even everyone comforted me, I knew one thing only for sure. They would leave me, I was left behind.
So through this post, I want to apologize to everyone who got hurt by me. I'm really sorry if I shut you out, especially my friends and my brother. Sorry for gave you a cold response, sorry for this bad attitude of mine. This week has been so hard and I was so sensitive. I cried in my prayers, every time. I was so jealous of you, guys. Jealousy seriously and unhesitatingly took a big space in my heart.
... but the numbness still had her.