Sunday, February 22, 2015


It was unrealistic
It was amazing
How we were staring at each other
Unsure who speak first
Didn't know any words
We were the unmoving one in a rush
I might a little surprised to see you here
I didn't care, I swore, I didn't care
I just need to watch you, find any difference,
save it to my memory,
and remember it every time I feel like I need it,
till we... meet again.


This Sunday was the very first time in this year.
This Sunday, something unlocked.
This Sunday, I look like a chicken.
This Sunday, I spent every minutes in ride back home... thinking about how stupid I was.
This Sunday made me disgustingly melancholic.

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Silly Thought

I wish I could ran away from the crowd, from this city. I will run far far away... to the fields or hills. Escaping the stress that haunts me. I will cry as hard as I can and I will shout "WHY, GOD?"
but... I doubt He will answer.

Tuesday, February 10, 2015


can't hold it any longer yet
can't let it show for
it will tarnish my image.
what images, really?

this monster inside me is
getting tougher for I
getting weaker.
it loves me when I'm weak.
this monster... loves me.
maybe it's a good thing to know
that someone or something loves me.
or it's a bad thing to know...
even a monster can love.

Sunday, February 08, 2015

Darker Shades are Beautiful

clouds. grays. winds.
the city had never looked more beautiful than this day.
the air in my nostrils were more fresh. 
the lights were brighter and more colorful.
the streets were cleaner and more desolate.
the buildings were more glorious.
had someone redesign that glassy building?
I didn't know.
everything was so beautiful.
I still in the same old, small, city, yet it was strange.
funny how those three made a lovely difference.

Thursday, February 05, 2015


I thank you, my dearest friends, for celebrating my humble birthday. Thanks for all the hopes which I gladly will turn it to reality. Thanks for the cakes, surprises, and prayers. This is so blast, I'm so happy and my stresses are left behind.
I thank You, Lord, for guiding me straight and true through many obstacles in my path. I thank You, Lord, for the friends I made. I'm legal now. I'm ready for the burden on my shoulders.
celebration from my high school bitches, dina (on the left) & dona (took the picture)

my dearest best friend in town, naomi

 look, how happy they were, seeing my poor soul sliced the damn cake.

 an expected and non surprising celebration from good people in Persisten

"tim pengoyak dompet"