Monday, August 21, 2017

Waiting

To build your faith in a dungeon cell, during the valley in your life where it’s too dark to see and too hard to believe.
To build your dependence on Him when you are barren and empty to see if He is truly all you desire and all you need.
To see how well you will trust and serve Him when you are still stuck in the background somewhere, doing seemingly nothing too significant for Him.
To build your trust in Him when the storm keeps raging, the battle keeps going and breakthrough and victory doesn’t seem near.
That we grow in faith.
That we learn to only depend on Him.

Monday, April 17, 2017

At Night

As I grew wiser, people keep asking me if I always sleep late. They see me online at ungodly hour or catch me yawning at day. So here's the answer (not like they're gonna see it anyway).

Yes, I sleep late. If it possible, I will sleep when the dawn breaks. You might ask if I am an insomniac and I'd tell you that I'm not. You can leave me in an empty room with no tasks to be completed, I will sleep in three minutes. So why do I sleep late?

I always afraid of the night. I'm afraid that when the morning comes, I'll wake in a different place, with different people. I'm afraid that something bad may happened and I can't stop it. I remember sleeping next to my mum, hugging her arm until morning. Because of I'm afraid of night, I can't be weak. I can't be a weak pleb so that if one time the night decides to hit me, I can hit it back and beat it into a pulp. I have to be strong, I have to be in control, and never let my guards down.

Then you might ask if is not it tiring and kind of useless? I tell you, it's tiring that's why you can find me lethargically yawning every day. I don't think that it's useless. In fact, I'm preparing myself to have a merciless match with the night. At this point I start to think that I'm belligerent.

Think I've explained myself. It's nice to be back on blog again. My laptop broke and when I try to logging in by my old laptop, the page won't load. It's really frustrating using phone to write a post. Geez...

PS: forgive me for any grammar mistakes or wrong vocabulary, got no time to proofread.