Waiting

To build your faith in a dungeon cell, during the valley in your life where it’s too dark to see and too hard to believe.
To build your dependence on Him when you are barren and empty to see if He is truly all you desire and all you need.
To see how well you will trust and serve Him when you are still stuck in the background somewhere, doing seemingly nothing too significant for Him.
To build your trust in Him when the storm keeps raging, the battle keeps going and breakthrough and victory doesn’t seem near.
That we grow in faith.
That we learn to only depend on Him.

when God makes you wait

A Room of One's Own

Suppose, for instance, that men were only represented in literature as the lovers of women, and were never the friends of men, soldiers, thinkers, dreamers; how few parts in the plays of Shakespeare could be allotted to them; how literature would suffer! We might perhaps have most of Othello; and a good deal of Antony; but no Caesar, no Brutus, no Hamlet, no Lear, no Jaques –literature would be incredibly impoverished, as indeed literature is impoverished beyond our counting by the doors that have been shut upon women.

 - Virginia Woolf

Free Fall

It's been too high, my Lord.

I trust You to not let me fall

for the high will crush my bad bones.

Michaelis

The more emotions are oppressed, the more they tend to flare up.
That is the kind of creature man is, do you not agree?

A Killer

he's wandering, analyzing, and calculating,
He's sleeping
he's living, worshiping, and forgiving,
He's sleeping
he's taking chances of salvation,
He's sleeping
deep... deep...
in Styx,
He's sleeping
I pray so that
He will sleep and slumber
in Tartarus

do not go gentle into that good night,

rage, rage against the dying of the light

Trauma

For in every scene of life, I see the eyes. The ugly ones.
And when I look at it, I gag so much.
And when one is gagged, thousands of mouth will open
with more eyes to see
and ears will hear the truth.

The World was Wide Enough

Legacy.

What is a legacy?
It’s planting seeds in a garden

you never get to see
I wrote some notes at the beginning of a song

someone will sing for me

An Old Question

My father once asked me what was the largest number I could think of. I said that I didn't know. He asked me again if I believe there was a largest number in this world. Ah... old times, I did math just for grades. I found out that there was no such thing as a largest number when I was a teenager. Now, I finally understand the question.

If the infinities don't exist, how is God infinite?

Though that doesn't mean I don't believe in God.

For Milk Does Body Good

your skin is not as
white as milk
but you're as
good as milk

Defending the Sky

If you are the sky, then I will be a sparrow.
I will be a hawk. I will be an eagle.
If you are Uranus, I will be Hyperion and Selene
and bring light to the thunderclouds.
I will be Artemis and give you the moon.
I will be Apollo and give you the sun.
I will protect the sky.
I will be Theia, the shining light of the clear blue sky.
I will be the one thing you believe you can never have again.

A thought for first human

Men are not born with loyalty,
dogs are.
Men are silly visual creature,
women are the substantial one.

Habakkuk 3:17-18

Although the fig tree shall not blossom, neither shall fruit be in the vines; the labour of the olive shall fail, and the fields shall yield no meat; the flock shall be cut off from the fold, and there shall be no herd in the stalls: Yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will joy in the God of my salvation.

She does

In her worst moments, she clung to the memory of God's grace in her life.

Ride

don't leave me now, don't say good bye, don't turn around leave me high and dry

Devils

oh, cursed is he

who in times of trouble

had to thrust his soul

forfeiting help

he has nowhere to run

Memory

One unpleasant and unfortunate memory seems like crawling back up to the surface. It frightens me more than anything. I wish it stays where it once had been.

The Road is Long

try to have fun in the meantime...

Vulgarism

How could an old man with gagged eyes
crashed her entirely hope?
One single lines broke it.
There she was, sitting, pretending.
All she wanted to say was, "Fuck you, what's the difference?"
She never voiced it.
Yes, indeed...
Fuck his lonely old life.

Stone

It was unrealistic
It was amazing
How we were staring at each other
Unsure who speak first
Didn't know any words
We were the unmoving one in a rush
I might a little surprised to see you here
I didn't care, I swore, I didn't care
I just need to watch you, find any difference,
save it to my memory,
and remember it every time I feel like I need it,
till we... meet again.

Monster

can't hold it any longer yet
can't let it show for
it will tarnish my image.
what images, really?
.
.

this monster inside me is
getting tougher for I
getting weaker.
it loves me when I'm weak.
this monster... loves me.
maybe it's a good thing to know
that someone or something loves me.
or it's a bad thing to know...
even a monster can love.