Silly Thought

I wish I could ran away from the crowd, from this city. I will run far far away... to the fields or hills. Escaping the stress that haunts me. I will cry as hard as I can and I will shout "WHY, GOD?"

but... I doubt He will answer.

Monster

can't hold it any longer yet
can't let it show for
it will tarnish my image.
what images, really?
.
.

this monster inside me is
getting tougher for I
getting weaker.
it loves me when I'm weak.
this monster... loves me.
maybe it's a good thing to know
that someone or something loves me.
or it's a bad thing to know...
even a monster can love.

Darker Shades are Beautiful

clouds. grays. winds.
the city had never looked more beautiful than this day.
the air in my nostrils were more fresh. 
the lights were brighter and more colorful.
the streets were cleaner and more desolate.
the buildings were more glorious.
had someone redesign that glassy building?
I didn't know.
everything was so beautiful.
I still in the same old, small, city, yet it was strange.
funny how those three made a lovely difference.

Legal

I thank you, my dearest friends, for celebrating my humble birthday. Thanks for all the hopes which I gladly will turn it to reality. Thanks for the cakes, surprises, and prayers. This is so blast, I'm so happy and my stresses are left behind.
I thank You, Lord, for guiding me straight and true through many obstacles in my path. I thank You, Lord, for the friends I made. I'm legal now. I'm ready for the burden on my shoulders.

celebration from my high school bitches, dina (on the left) & dona (took the picture)

my dearest best friend in town, naomi

 

 look, how happy they were, seeing my poor soul sliced the damn cake.

 an expected and non surprising celebration from good people in Persisten

"tim pengoyak dompet"

Moving

Has life become ugly or I just realized it?
Has friendship become distance or I just fantasized it?
Has time become quicker or I just imagined it?
Has good become bad?

Tired of Waiting

Hi, fellas. I'm waiting my lecturer right now and I feel so bored. Well actually I'm sad not bored because you know... sitting here (alone), watching people chasing their dream, seeing them socializing those things are painful. People is pitying you (like I need your pity).
So I've been thinking about my life. I always think why can't I like everybody else? Why can't I just have fun, do things recklessly, forget about the rules, and stop being so damn righteous! I'm so tired. So tired seeing another reckless human living his/her wonderful life. I always wonder why. Why do people like them always get things more easy? You may say that life is unfair, ya I know that, but that doesn't answer my sodding question. Why is life so unfair? Why can't we happy? Why can't we choose to be happy and live it?
I don't know why I acted like this. Maybe my pride is just too sensitive.